When I last left My Bella Vita I was rushing to the airport in what I hoped would be a superfluous trip to Texas where I’d eagerly meet my family at the hospital, encourage my mother and sister and aid in my father’s slow, but inevitable recovery. I convinced myself somewhere over the Atlantic that my trip would be a homecoming of sorts and that we would all laugh about how Dad had given us a scare, but had once again pulled through.
However, this time it was not meant to be.
I arrived at the hospital at 4:30 on the afternoon of Friday, February 13 … my dad passed away an hour later.
What transpired over the next few days was a muddled rush of numbed emotions, crushing moments of clarity and difficult decisions no child wants to make. I am proud of the way my mother, sister and I united, agreeing on every aspect of the services we would hold to honor my father’s life and legacy. Our extended family of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins were unbelievably supportive and went above what could have possibly been expected of them.
The Kountze community, KISD and especially the teachers and administrators where my mother is employed at Kountze Elementary School outdid themselves, and my admiration and respect for them has skyrocketed.
Oh yes. Dear old Dad would be proud.
He would have been proud of my sister and me for collaborating on his obituary and for mustering the courage to share our favorite memories with the standing-room only crowd that gathered on that rainy Tuesday afternoon.
He would have been proud of the articles that were written about him, from Editors and Publishers Magazine to the Beaumont Enterprise, Silsbee Bee, Hardin County News and Orange County Record.
He would be proud of his family, his community, his journalist buddies and all of the people who traveled long distances by air and land to show their respects.
He would be proud that none of us can remember a time – politics aside – when he muttered a negative comment about another person.
A friend told me that losing a parent is like losing a limb … you will always know it is missing, but you will always feel like it is there. I know he is gone and I feel his absence in more ways than he could have ever imagined.
I’d like to take this opportunity to publicly thank my virtual and “real life” friends for your emails, comments, Facebook messages, letters, phone calls and cards. Although I haven’t yet responded to each of you, I did see your messages of support and I felt your thoughts and prayers each day.
Thank you for bearing with me over this past month. It is good to be back.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I am so glad you were able to get there to see your dad, even though the time was short before he passed away. It sounds like your dad was loved by many and lived a wonderful life. I am sure he was very proud seeing all you and your family did to remember him.
My mom died very suddenly nine years ago. It is still difficult very difficult nine years later but as the years pass, it does get a little easier. The firsts were the very hardest for me. My thoughts are with you.
I am sorry for your loss, as well. I can’t imagine nine years… it seems so far away, ya know? We are already dreading all of our “firsts.” Baby steps, they say …
girasoli’s last blog post..orbs
I’m so very sorry. Words are always difficult at such sad times. Your post is lovely. He’d be proud of your tribute too. Very best wishes, Sally
Thank you, Sally. That was nice to say. I hope he would have liked it.
I am so sorry Cherrye…I am just so pleased that you made it back to the states to see your dad, Yes I am sure your dad was very proud of you and all your family. Best wishes Anne
I feel so lucky that I arrived in Texas in time to see him. We all actually think he was “waiting” on me… I’m so glad he did.
Anne’s last blog post..Spring Flowers..
Cherrye,
I’m so sorry. Sounds like he was an amazing father and left a real journalistic legacy. Please accept my condolences.
Michelle
He was an amazing father, Michelle and we feel so lucky to have his articles and stories to help us get through this. Thank you for your condolences.
Michelle’s last blog post..Mamma stuff
Cherrye, I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard for those of us that live so far away at times like this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Grazie, Joanne. You are right about the distance being so much more difficult. 🙁
Cherrye,
I’m glad you’re back.
Losing a parent is so hard. Your father sounds like he was a wonderful man, whose memory will be cherished by many.
Thank you, Poppy. It is good to be back to blogging.
poppy fields’s last blog post..Séguret
Cherrye, so good to have you back. So sad about your loss. I have been there and know how hard it is, especially living so far from home. But from what I read, your father seemed like an incredible man, blessed with a great spirit, talent and the love of his family and friends. It might be hard for you now but your writing will be a testament to that legacy.
I hope my father’s legacy isn’t judged harshly by my writing-he was *so* talented-but I know he was happy I was following in his footsteps! Thank you for the message.
I’m glad you’re back, I went through a very similar thing and it really helped having so much support from even virtual friends.
Hopefully we can actually meet properly soon, maybe we should organise a mini sothernItaly gtg at your B&B?
Great idea, Charlie. There are more and more of us south of Rome now, too. I’d love to meet everyone.
charlie’s last blog post..
Cherrye, I was holding my breath waiting on your post. I lost my father when I was 18 and I think your friend describes it quite well, it is like losing a limb. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Thinking of you, Karen
Ciao, Karen. I know time will help, but it is still so hard to imagine. I think we are still very much in shock. Thank you for your message!
Welcome back C.
Words can’t express how sorry I am for your loss. Know that he waited for you to get there, waited to see you one last time before he knew it was ok for him to go. My Mom describes a similar instance with my Grandmother.
He will always be with you in spirit, C.
Give yourself time……
xo
I feel very lucky that he waited for me and knowing that has helped me in many ways. It is just so hard to comprehend at this point … Thanks for the message!
My Melange’s last blog post..Dusting off the Italian Language Skills
I have no words Cherrye. I had the same phone call a year ago and although it was expected, it was the hardest thing to watch my mother die.
I so know what you are going through.
xx
Thank you, Scintilla. I know you have been “here.” Thank you for thinking of me.
Scintilla’s last blog post..What’s flowering in my garden in Positano.
The photos and the memories will keep your Dad alive in your heart forever. Welcome back. You were missed.
Thank you, Carol.
Cherrye – I was hoping that things would have turned out differently. I am soo sorry for your loss. I got a similar call once when I was at an airport on my way to vacation. It is always a shock, no matter how ill he/she might have been. And it will take you a while to recover even when you think you’re ok. I’ll be thinking of you and your father every time I open your blog. I’m so glad you’re back and will be able to start getting distracted with “normal” life.
You are right, Linda. We were surprised at how “shocked” we were. It just goes to show you are never really prepared for something like this. Thank you for your sweet comment!
Ciaochowlinda’s last blog post..Il Paiolo
Aww Cherrye I am so so sorry. I am so glad you got to see him before he passed. thoughts and prayers are still with you my friend.
Thank you, Stacy. I appreciate that.
stacy’s last blog post..A New Twist on Tourism
Cherrye, my heart goes out to you at this time, and so my thoughts and prayers are still with you and your family . I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Amber. My family and I appreciate everyone’s thoughts and prayers as we try to work through this.
Amber’s last blog post..Wild Things At Play!
I am one of your virtual friends. Although, we don’t know each other, we share a common bond. We all do when we experience the loss of someone we love. It may not mean much but I do wish you comfort during this painful time.
Ciao Sierra. Thank you for your message. It is comforting for me to talk to people who have gone through this. It helps to know things will get “easier.”
I’m so sorry for your loss Cherrye. My thoughts are with you.
Thank you, Mary!
Mary’s last blog post..Women’s Day
Cherrye, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad you were able to see him before he died. I’m sure you’re right about his waiting for you. My sister and are convinced my dad did the same thing when he died several years ago- he waited for my brother.
Losing a parent is so hard. We owe so much of who we are to our parents, that when they’re gone, we feel their absence so deep down in our being. The limb analogy is a good one. It’s also very difficult to see them succumb to death because, even as adults, we often still think of them as bigger and stronger than us. Well, that’s how I felt with my dad.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I’ve heard other instances of someone passing away shortly after a loved one visited them. I am convinced it is not a coincidence. Thank you for your support.
KC’s last blog post..Signs of Spring
I’m so sorry Cherrye for you and your family’s loss. Having lost my own father two years ago, I can relate, although every situation is different. I just want you to know that I am thinking about you, and your family. Many *bunny hugs* always.
Thank you, Michelle. I’ll take all of the bunny hugs I can get! 🙂
Cherrye, I was so sorry to hear the news about your father from Andrea. Please know that you and your family continue to be in my thoughts.
Hi Mel! Thank you for your comments. I appreciate them so much.
Cherrye,
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, you are in my thoughts and prayers!
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
L
Thanks, Louise. My family and Iappreciate your prayers.
Louise’s last blog post..
Cherrye,
Melissa and I are both so sorry to hear about your loss. I wish there was something more comforting I could say, other than that you’re in our thoughts.
Rich & Melissa
Thank you, Rich. Please tell Melissa that P and I say hello and we hope to see you soon.
Please accept my sympathy. I lost my Dad in 1980, and I have an idea of what you are going through now. Focus on those good times and memories and it will help.
Thank you for the comment, Marie. We are working hard on remembering all of the good times we had with our father. He was a great man … so we have many.
What a beautiful tribute. I am sorry for your loss. But how wonderful that you were able to be there before he went, and to be there with your family as well. Your in my thoughts.
Thank you, Aimee. I do feel very lucky that he waited on me. It was the best “gift” he could have given me.
Aimee’s last blog post..Happiness from a widget!
I’ve been checking the blog daily to see that you’re back (I knew you were back in Italy, but back here- where we need you). The post is so lovely. The words are perfect. Your dad is proud. He is your angel now just as you were always his.
Love you!
Thank you, Brandi. You are always sweet. I’m so glad I got to see your mom at the services. I hope to see you next time I am in America!
I’m sorry for your loss. I understand how it feels to lose your dad – Mine died 20 years ago and I still miss him.
You wrote a beautiful tribute to him.
Thank you, Nadine.
Nadine’s last blog post..Blessed Child
Cherrye,
I cannot even begin to imagine the loss of a parent. I had a scare a few years ago (my father lives in Alaska and I am in Arizona). My first instinct was to get on the next plane. Luckily, he came out alright, but his health is not the same, and I worry all the time for that phone call. You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to be there. I wish there was something someone could say to make this time easier…
Oh, Jennifer I am sorry for you, as well. I know what it feels like to be scared of “that call.” I hope for the best for you and your family.
Jennifer’s last blog post..Life
Welcome back Cherrye,
what a wonderful tribute to your dad. I see where you get your writing talent. He lived una bella vita as was quoted in his obit. “devoted to his twin passions-newspapers and family”. I’m so happy to hear that he waited for you. As you said we all have to go thru those firsts and we’re never ready to let go.
Writing will help you get thru the tough period and keep his memory alive.
You’ll continue to be in my thoughts.
Thank you, Carole. I appreciate your insight …
The timing was terrible, the timing was just perfect…you were able to spend a little time with him after being so far away. I’m sure your family was happy to have you home. I think this is a beautiful tribute. We’re happy to have you again among the online flock.
Thank you, Sara. I am looking forward to catching up on all the posts I missed when I was away.
Cherrye, my eyes were full of tears reading your sad news and your beautiful tribute to your dad. So wonderful, though, that you made in time. I have experienced it twice this past year, so my heart is with you. Just know that having been there with him at the end will help you later as you begin to heal. While he left a lasting memory through his writings, his real legacy is you, a beatiful and talented daughter.
That is so sweet of you to say that. Thank you, Valerie.
Valerie’s last blog post..Who Are The Foreigners?
Hi Cherrye,
I found you over at Bleeding Espresso. I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your father. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Thank you and welcome to My Bella Vita. I’m looking forward to visiting your site for some new recipes!
Rosa’s last blog post..Barefoot Bloggers … Chicken Piccata
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss but glad you were able to be there with him, even if it was just for a few minutes. I’m also glad you were able to celebrate his life with your family and friends. He sounds like a wonderful man who was much loved – what a legacy!
Thank you, Barb
Barbara’s last blog post..A PRO LOCO DINNER IN SAN VENANZO
Cherrye I’m sorry for your loss. I’m glad you were able to be there with your family and friends.
Thank you, NYC Ragazza!
nyc/carribbean ragazza’s last blog post..Okibà Mozzarella Bar Comes to Campo de Fiori.
I am sorry for your loss. I lost my mother about 14 years ago and I still miss her terribly.
Thank you, Running. Although I know I’ll always miss my dad, it scares me when I hear how much people miss their parents after many years … I want to think it will get “better.”
running42k’s last blog post..Personal Legend
I’m so sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
I lost my dad 4 years ago and feel like he’s been my guardian angel ever since.
Thank you, Lucy. I think I’ll feel the same way… in fact, I already do!
lucy’s last blog post..
So sorry to hear of your loss. Although I didn’t know your father, I have some understanding of the loss you are experiencing as I went through the same thing last April when my dad died. As a writer it never crossed my mind that one day my skills would be put to use writing an obituary notice or a tribute for one of my parents but it happened. My dad will always be missed but the raw emotions have subsided as the days have passed. But there are still moments when the memory shines. My hope is that I captured enough of my dad to reveal his character and be recognizable to other family members and friends because, as we all know, what goes on the Internet stays on the Internet. Your quiet tribute for your dad will be remembered and rediscovered. He had a great life.
I hope you don’t mind if I share my tribute to my dad:
http://www.beresfordfuneralhomes.com/Obits/Obit.html?id=102776
Thank you for sharing that, Vikk. It was wonderfully written and I feel like I have a good sense of who your father was. We were also active in Little Theater when I was young … good times. Thank you so much for your message.
Vikk’s last blog post..A writer’s tools: Carrots, contests and chocolates
I’m sorry to hear that Cherrye… I’m sure he will be in your heart and thoughts forever. Hope you’re well. Joe
I am doing a little better … hour by hour. Thanks, Joe!
I hurt for you. So sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much.
Cherrye – You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers; I was so relieved to learn you made it back to see your dad – that must have meant so much to both you and to him (and your mom and sister, too, I imagine).
I can’t begin to conceive of how difficult losing him has been and will continue to be; I am so thankful for the love of your family in your life and Peppe by your side.
The special person your dad was shines through in everything I’ve seen and read of him, and the community clearly loved and appreciated him as y’all did. That must make y’all so proud.
All the best to you as you navigate this tough path without him. You *continue* to be in our prayers. Welcome back.
Oh, Kim that is so sweet. Thank you so much (now you are gonna make me cry again!) Yes, we are very proud of him and of his accomplishments in our community and we are thankful for his writings.
Kim B.’s last blog post..A Funny Turn of Events
Well Cherrye, as I said in the earlier post, it is hard to lose a parent. I’m sure it hurts, but somewhere I heard someone say something like “When an old man dies it’s never a tragedy”. That sounds a bit cold, but I totally agree, if I live as old as your dad and die as peacefully, I will be grateful and rejoice.
I know he had a great life and everyone at the hospital said he was peaceful, so that is all nice and good for him. But not so much for the rest of us, ya know?? You are right … it is never easy to lose a parent!
What a beautiful tribute your dad! He sounds like he was pretty awesome and you have to know how blessed you are to have had such a good relationship with him. My heart goes out to you because I know exactly what you are going through right now and I want you to know that you aren’t alone. *hug*
Thank you, LuLu. I know you went through this recently and I remember thinking how young you are to lose your dad. I feel too young, too! Thanks for the encouragement.
LuLu’s last blog post..Italian Fashion: Never Without You
I really like the comment that losing a parent is like losing a limb. I can so relate to that. It is nice to know that in time the memories tend to be ones that brings a smile to your face, with only the occasional tear, but that will take some time. Hang on to feeling proud because you have done an admirable job sharing it with all of us too. You’ll remain in my thoughts.
Thank you so much, Marla. I’m gonna get all teary again because everyone is being so thoughtful!! 🙂 Marla’s last blog post..Strada Reale meets Museo del Gusto
Cherrye, thank you for sharing the beautiful memories of your father. I am very sorry for your loss, and you and your family are in my thoughts. I have been thinking of you often and wondering how things were going, and it is very nice to have you back and hear your news. I have been a longtime reader, but I am finally coming out of the shadows, because I know the support of the online blogging community can mean so much. Take care!
You are so sweet to come out of hiding and send me this message. I appreciate it so much. Grazie mille.
Laura at Ciao Amalfi’s last blog post..Tempting Tuesday: Torello
Cherrye,
Welcome back. I can’t believe that anyone has the grace to respond to EVERYONE who has posted a comment at a time like this, but that’s why My Bella Vita is a shining star. You are a shining star. If we ever make it to Italy again, I’m confident that we’ll visit Il Cedro. You honor your father with your writing, and you honor all of us as well. Carry on!
Thank you, Peter. That is so sweet of you to say. I do hope you can make it to Il Cedro soon!
What a beautifully written tribute to your Dad. I’m so sorry for your loss…it’s so difficult.
Thank you, Janet.
Cherrye,
You and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. The obituary for your father was beautifully written.
Jennifer
Thank you, Jennifer. We appreciate that.
Jennifer Rafferty’s last blog post..Calabria-Simu o No Calabrisi?
cherrye i’ve been praying for y’all everyday since your post. i am so glad you were able to be there when you were. your words express something so incredible that surely he smiles down upon…what a dear, sweet daughter you are. may God give you all much peace & comfort in this time
Thank you so much. I appreciate your prayers and support during this time. You have no idea how much it helps!
qualcosa di bello’s last blog post..uh-huh!
Cherrye, there’s nothing I can add that hasn’t been said already ~ I’m sorry for your loss. What a blessing it is to have all the wonderful memories you shared with your father. He’ll always be with you.
I like to think so. Thank you for the message!
Ice Tea For Me’s last blog post..and the winner is…
wow Cherrye. my thoughts and prayers have been with you and your family. You seem so strong through all of this. What a blessing that you made it to his side just in time. You have lovely memories to keep forever.
Thank you so much, Erin. I appreciate that. Hope you and Chris are doing well.
erin :: the olive notes’s last blog post..photos of florida
hugs from austin!! so sorry 🙁
Thank you, Tracie!
I worked for your father for only a few months in 1979 at the Kountze News. I remember him as a journalist that approached his work with a passion. His outlook was foreign to my young and text-book driven approach to newspapers/ fresh from Sam Houston. As a result, I left the Kountze News and went the Silsbee Bee.
@Ken Clutsam, Thank you for your message, Ken. Sounds like Dad (to be different from the crowd!)
I am really sorry, Cherrye. This is such a hard time for you. I wish you peace and comfort.
Oh Cherrye, I am so sorry to learn of your father’s death. Thank you for sharing this tribute. You are an amazing and delightful woman. I know he was proud of your accomplishments.
I’m so sorry cherrye. I lost a sister a few months ago and share your grief and pain. I’ll be thinking about you and am so glad you got back in time to see him. Welcome back and big big hug to you.
Stacy
cherrye your dad was a very loved and very special person to me and my family and i knew him well as i had many dealings with him in my life i wish i could have been there when he passed to support you and your family because i feel that as close as i was to him he was like an uncle to me