Love Means Never Buying Your Wife Fat Pants

It is just no one told my husband.

Last week marked my SIX MONTH wedding anniversary, and while both my mom and Pep’s dad made fun of us for celebrating, we did anyway. We had a nice romantic dinner. He bought me roses. We reminisced about our wedding day. He gave me fat pants.

I kid you not.

There is, however, a story there.

A few months ago Pep saw an advertisement on TV for pants that reduce cellulite and inches. Apparently, all you have to do is wear them to notice a change (or you can work out in them to stimulate fat loss, but I don’t recommend that option). I walked in the room immediately following this commercial to which he said, “Can you believe that crap? Pants that make you lose weight…” or something along those lines.

I replied with, “I’d LOVE those pants… I’d wear them.”

You can imagine Pep’s surprise when I eagerly unwrapped my present, opened the box, held up the gift, and asked, “Is it a bad sign when your husband gives you FAT PANTS for your anniversary?”

I would give anything to go back to that moment and have my camera.

Shocked look. Open mouth. “But… but… you said you wanted them!”

Being the confident lass I am, I thanked Pep for the gift and immediately tried them on, for I accepted this present in the nature it was given.

“But how did you know my size?” I asked him.

“I had to measure your jeans.”

To which I got the most precious mental image of him holding up my David Kahns with a measuring stick.

After faithfully wearing my fat pants for five mornings, I can’t say if I notice a difference. I’m definitely not fatter, which is, ya know, a good thing. And it is possible my thighs a tad bit slimmer. It’s possible. It is! It is possible!

Well, I don’t know.

What about you? Would you get insulted if your honey bought you fat pants, and men… would you buy them?

Here’s hoping all of your gift giving experiences are as fun as this one. Happy LT!

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Comments

  1. Ha! Too funny!! Oh Peppe, you’re sweet but have so much to learn. After 10 yrs of marriage my husband knows the answer to my monthly “Do I look fat in this?”. “No, you always look nice. Pass me the parmigiano”. He just changes the subject. Works like a charm.
    Cherrye, just be glad he didn’t buy you a pair of mom jeans. Now, that would have been the kiss of death!

  2. Happy 6 months! I dunno how I’d react to my hubby buying my fast pants but in your circumstance, I’d say he was being quite thoughtful and sweet. =)

    Thanks for dropping by Dolce Pics and for you comment. Hope to see you around again!

  3. Isn’t it funny, Sara. I will let you know!

    Agreed, Michelle.

    Yikes. Mom jeans. 🙁 I am sad thinking about them.

    You know, Laura. Fast Pants might be ok! he he

    Yea, NYC Gal. It could have been worse, and seriously, I did tell him I wanted them, right?

    I figure if I wear the pants, Judith, I CAN double the recipe!

    I know, Erin. They ARE a hoot!

  4. Too funny. My husband has given me some of the most thoughtful, yet odd gifts I have every gotten, and I treasure every one. Happy LT!

  5. That is TOO funny!
    Hey at least he noticed when you said that you liked something, its a start right?? LOL

  6. Too funny- I remember one valentines (I was hoping for an engagement ring) I got Anti-wrinkle cream!!! The esthetician I saw recommended I try it- and I tossed it onto my “wishlist” I set up with her and next thing you know I got the wrinkle cream-, I stormed over to her office and returned every single product that I had bought from her and cancelled all my other orders!! Selling anti wrinkle cream for a valentines gift- bah!!

  7. What a great story! He’s so clueless and sweet, which probably makes you love him even more, right? At least after you’ve gotten over being annoyed at him 🙂 Happy semi-anniversary and Happy love thursday!

  8. In that situation, I wouldn’t be upset, because you are newly married, and you did say you wanted them. A few years down the road? Not so much.
    Happy LT

  9. This made me laugh so much I nearly burst out of my own fat pants. Still I guess they are better than the oven glove that I was lovingly given last year:)
    – Amanda

  10. You are right, Louise! I can’t say he doesn’t listen, can I?

    BPLC – He’s a keeper, I’d say. I would say… If I could breath in these fat pants.

    Krystal! LOL. Tragic!!!

    Michelle S, I know RIGHT?? I bet he was so proud!

    Bongamom – Yes, it does! I wasn’t even actually annoyed with him. Knowing him as I do, I know he wouldn’t insult me by trying to make me wear fat pants if I didn’t want them. It was all in the thought!

    LOL. I know, Jessica. I know …

    I can see you doing that, too Amber!

    Angie and Andrea – you are right. I DID say I wanted them. I am actually glad to have them.

    Oven Glove?? Oh, Amanda. Actually, the first time Pep ever did Stockings at Christmas, I got a sock full of dishclothes and sponges! lol I had forgotten all about that!!

    E’vero, Sally… e l’amore e’ bello!

  11. Reminds me of that old saying *careful what you wish for*

    I do think he gets extra credit for actually listening and acting on it…and measuring the jeans 😉

  12. This is a precious story! My own Italian has a knack for writing memorable one-liner emails, none of which are repeatable. As for gift-giving – not so much. He prefers to send me out to buy my own. The gift that he gives me every day when I come home is the warm smile and hearty “hi bella” when I walk in.

    My experience with Italian men is limited to one, but he really has the ability to be sentimental, sweet, and perfectly comfortable expressing his emotions. My American husbands had a lot more trouble witht that.

  13. hehehehe! when my hubby & i were dating, for christmas one year he bought me a workout video, weights & excercise clothing (mind you, i weight all of 98lbs. dripping wet). let’s just say, he’s lucky he’s my husband after that fiasco 😉

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