… what a SCARY concept! Yuck. I mean who wants to think about the dead, dying, and death on the happiest day of their lives? Not me! I want to think happy thoughts…positive thoughts…
Why not say instead “forever” or “for always” or even “forever and ever and always?” I’m just saying…It certainly isn’t a very HAPPY concept, now is it? Or, a positive one.
Well, Italiani take this v-e-r-y seriously.
I’m not even referring to Pep’s dad who, sadly, had the love of his life pass away five years ago this August. It was quite a tragic experience for all of them. His dad still wears his wedding ring and refers to her as his wife, almost as if in present tense. The loss is still very prevalent in his life, and I don’t see the opportunity for him to meet and fall in love again. He isn’t interested.
It’s somewhat more saddening for Pep’s Aunt, whose husband fell ill nine years ago, and two days later was dead. She, too, still dons her wedding ring and vows to never love another.
Even more disheartening is a different zia. Her husband was stricken with cancer and passed away almost 35 years ago. She has spent more than three decades, and half of her life without him…wearing his ring and refusing other suitors.
This is not unlike our friend’s mom who continues to wear black, day in and day out, spending every day of her life in perpetual mourning for her lost husband, who passed almost 30 years ago.
The idea of a true, soul-sharing, bound-for-eternity love is, without doubt, a beautiful concept. But, and I am saying this without an ounce of judgment for the afore-mentioned lovers, I wonder what their counterparts would say. It is my suspicion they would want happiness…days without loneliness…true contentment.
I shared my controversial opinion with Pep, who, not surprisingly disagreed with me.
“If something happens to me, tesoro mio,” I urged him, “You have my blessing to move on.”
He didn’t return the offer.
The idea of a love so consuming and ever-lasting that it promises to transcend death, is, to be quite honest with you, terrifying. Terrifying, yet beautiful. Overwhelming, but special. I feel fortunate to enter into a union with a man with these deeply-rooted sentiments about love and togetherness, but fearful of the implications.
I don’t like thinking about death.
“Forever” conjures a much nicer image…
So, maybe instead of saying, “Till death due us part” when we make our vows in November, Peppe and I will just say, “Forever and Ever.”