Funny Things: Put On your Helmets, Soldiers…

Five days without the blogosphere has left me feeling a little, well, I don’t know…strange. Unlike Michelle, my Internet wasn’t acting up, but my wireless? Well, that’s another story. But, really…who could be expected to use the home PC when you are so accustomed to blogging in bed (it’s not as bad as it sounds, folks)!

But, as I was saying, put on your helmets because there is an “invasion” in Catanzaro…At least that is what I heard today, and, since the wireless is happy again, I can share it with you.

You see, we have this little ant problem … not inside the house, mind you, or even close to the B&B, but there are a bunch of those boogers all over the place-marching in and out toting their gifts to the queen. We used two cartons of “uccidi-ant” today and didn’t even knock ’em off stride.

Well, it seems the problem isn’t limited to our little corner of the viale. This afternoon, Zia R wanted to visit Zia M, but didn’t want to walk alone-the 10 steps to Zia M’s house-because she was afraid of the dogs. Now mind you, there are three dogs, two of which are five-month old puppies, the other a Norfolk Terrier, but anyway, I offered my protection.

As I was waiting on her to finish her visit (someone had to walk her back home, after all) I half-heartily listened to their conversation, 1) because they were speaking super-dooper fast Italiano/Calabrese-talk, and 2) cause there was a commercial for “Valker Texas Rangear” in the background.

Until I heard this…

“There is an invasione.” My ears perk.

“Siiii…” (Head nodding solemnly like the end was near) “An invasion.”

I look from Zia R to Zia M, both of whom look terrifyingly serious.

“The ants are invading…we can’t get rid of them.”

Before I could stop myself I laughed out loud, but quickly shrugged it off as a cough.

He he (coughcoughcough) he … ahem!

I had a very hard time getting into their conversation after that…it must have been the little green army ants, with helmets and gear marching onward through my imagination toward their next point of attack. Or, maybe I sniffed some of that uccidi-ant when the wind blew…I don’t know! But next time you are in Catanzaro – be on the lookout – you never know who is around the corner waiting to attack!

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Comments

  1. One of the things I remember the best from our trip to Mallorca 18 years ago, is the morning when we woke up to find an ant army marching through the apartment we were staying in. There must have been billions of them; there was a half-meter wide black line along the wall from the balcony, through the living room and all the way into the kitchen area. I’m not kidding you.

  2. I get lots of ants marching in a row after it rains. It can’t be food they seek because I never find them in the kitchen, but maybe they seek dryness. I guess for them coming into a house beats drowning since I don’t think ants can swim.
    Has it rained a lot by you? Is the ground really swampy? Maybe the ants will all go away when the ground dries up.

  3. That is just too funny, the way you describe things I totally get the mental picture!!! a good chuckle!!
    Good luck with your not so friendly neighborhood ants!!

  4. Marching ants … yuck. I’ve had that problem before – no fun. I pray it clears up.

  5. Hmmm…I’m confused were you being attacked by ants or zias?

    I know there is no leash law in Italy. When I was there, when I would go jogging I would carry a length of PVC pipe to ward of all the snarly dogs that seemed to lie in wait for me.

  6. Annika – OMG…tragico!

    JDoe – It has been raining quite a bit, maybe that is it! I hope they do go away soon, although the uccidi-ant knocked out a bunch of them!

    Louise and Nadine..thanks.

    J – I’m “attacked” by zias everyday, this day was special cause it was ants. I hear you about the dogs – that is a whole other problem!

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