Guilt Talks!

So I am over a week late and a bunch of euro short, but Rob posted this question via Blog Talkers last week and I am slowly, but surely getting ’round to it.

“What do you feel most guilty about?”

 Well, that is easy! The thing I feel most guilty about is…

Being here.

Doing what people who don’t know me well say is brave and courageous, but what my family back home considers slightly selfish.

Living the dream?? Maybe. But at what expense?

I feel guilty every time I talk to my dad on the phone and he asks when I am going “home” to see them.

I feel guilty when Baby Cole says, “I think you should come home before….this weekend.”

I even feel guilty when I hear the passage from the bible that says, “…For this reason a man must leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife…” because I know what my mother is thinking…

Am I happy with my decision to move to Italy?

You bet!

Do I think I made the right decision?

Of course!

Would I do it all over again?

I would!

Does any of this make the guilt any less real?

Not one bit…

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Comments

  1. I have heard these comments before, coming from my daughter. Yes, she feels guilty too, she misses her nephews and her family and friends. I try to make her not feel guilty though, because I have seen what it does to her when other people give her the guilt trip.

  2. I hear you. I’d like to say you’ll get over it, and maybe you will, but I’m almost 4 years going, and I still have pangs–especially when my niece and nephew ask when I’m coming home.

    Mah.

  3. I guess the guilt is natural, but good for you for living your dream!! Life is very short. I wish I had the guts and money to step out of my comfort zone once in a while!

  4. I am not even there yet and wrestle with the guilt! it is hard to share the excitement i feel (along with the fear and sadness of course) with my family and friends. Though I know they want to share it with me, I feel guilty because I know it makes them upset. I know it will probably just get worse, but what do you do? Is it a little selfish to be with the man you love in his home country? I don’t think so. Unfortunately, someone always has to sacrifice something in a marriage (or any healthy relationship). My husband has done it for 6 yrs now its my turn. I really feel your pain (or guilt as it is) too. Oh well, I am trying to come to terms with the fact it will always be there underlying our life but doesnt have to control it.!

    Thanks for the post, I’m glad I’m not the only one out there with these thoughts.

  5. Stephanie, I think that is GREAT you try to help your daughter with her guilt. I am sure she appreciates it.

    Sogn – Thanks for WANTING to say it will get better, but, then again… 🙂

    Erin – Money? What is that?

    TX Espresso – I think it is MUCH better now that I am here than it was before I left. (Guilt-wise, I mean) That doesn’t mean it went away, but it is almost like a weight was lifted after I finally got on the plane and made the move! When are you coming already?? Dai!!!

  6. I know your wrote this post a while ago (I was browsing through your archives) but I SO understand. My family lives in Switzerland I live in the States and because of the green card process, I cant visit them for a long while yet. And even when I can visit, I wont be there all the time, and I feel guilty about that. And even when they visit — it’s not home for them. It’s just way too guilt-inducing.
     
    I know you “get” it, too…What can you do though?

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