I just read a comment posted by a fellow expat and I found some of the comments rather timely, as Peppe and I just debated the timeless question…”Does love really mean never having to say you’re sorry?”
He thinks it is very “American” of me to suggest (pronounced: de-mand) an apology after an argument, or after I think he has done something insensitive. In his opinion, Americans (which, he really means ME, since I am one of the only Americans he really knows) put too much emphasis on the words, “I’m sorry.”
Well, I’m sorry (ha ha) but that is just the way I was raised. In the deep pineywoods of Southeast Texas, if you do something to hurt someone, inadvertantly or not – you apologize. If a friend miconstrues a comment I make – I apologize. Maybe not for what I said, but for the misunderstanding. If I throw a baseball and it hits someone’s car – I apologize. I didn’t do it on purpose, but I am sorry it happened. If I bump into someone at the grocery store and they drop their groceries…guess what I do?
To further demonstrate this cultural, or possibly gender-based, divide I will share an example. Tonight Peppe was getting ready to leave for work, he rushed through an open door at the same time I was walking out, and stepped on me, almost causing me to trip.
Peppe: “Baby, watch out. Don’t get under my feet.”
Me: “Are you kidding me? You ran me down!”
Peppe: “Well, I don’t want to hurt you. I am in hurry and I can’t watch.”
Me: “Dude! YOU stepped on ME. Aren’t you going to say you’re sorry?”
Peppe: “You Americans! I shouldn’t have to say I am sorry to you…”
Now, is it just me, or is there no logic here? I have never understood the line, “Love means never having to say you are sorry.” If you can’t or won’t apologize to the person you love, then either
1) you don’t love them that much – or –
2) you have a problem admitting you are wrong…
(I personally think the latter applies to My Peppino, but then again, I wouldn’t really know what it is like to be wrong…it never happens.)
Anyway – I have never seen the movie “Love Story”, but I have a strong feeling the writer was a man of Italian decent…what do you think?